Blogg'n With The Crisses
Here's a Multiple Moment-Work Blog
December 26, 2007, at 05:12 PM
I did say I'd point out a multiple moment if it found me, right? Here's one. I wrote a post -- I say "I" loosely, but I have logged in memory the brilliant moment one of my inspired companions -- or perhaps a group thereof -- decided to construct a blog posting about our relationship to the Earth and the planet.
It may have been after watching One Man, One Cow, One Planet. It may have been a moment after spending time with our fairy godchild, Linda Borghi of Abundant Life Farm, a woman who is trying to save the planet.
On September 25th, I, for some quantity of I, blogged. We blogged hard. And it was good. It was a vaguely theological post, some factors of my head being vaguely theologians, that took a metaview of the human relationship with the planet, and for the sake of argument that voice in my head, being perhaps only nominally human, framed the post as though he or she were human indeed.
Someone named the post And now a word from our sponsor — Mother Earth. I look at the posting today only because someone left an anonymous comment saying it was good. I have to reread it. I only wrote it some 3 months ago. I see the title and only a vague familiarity stirs. I read the words: ...so I may explain an awe of the relationship between the planet we live on and our people... and read on as if I'm reading it for the first time. It's like re-reading a book you read as a child. I have the vague memory as whoever wrote it allowed us to re-read it, make sure it's not offensive, help them to tweak it so that it gives away nothing of our otherkinness, and giving final permission to send. We probably re-read it another half-dozen times since, each time a fresh "Wow" experience. In awe of our own writing. Because, of course, there are "seventy-somethin'" of us, and it's quite possible to re-read it dozens of times with new eyes every time.
This is a boni-fide multiple moment. Most hit when we re-read things we've written. Next time I'll try to find one that's not about something written. Thanks for reading. I can't wait to re-read this post again :)
Multiple Moments
December 09, 2007, at 02:12 PM
It's really hard to tell that you're multiple. The theoretical "big-bang" of the so-called disorder is to have an alternative method of mental functioning while protecting parts of one's self (core, id, ego, whatever...). In each individual, there is a different way of expressing it, and it may evolve quite differently over the years, but the basic fact of the matter is that one of the people your multiplicity is hiding from is yourself(s).
This leads to a conundrum for people who are multiple and don't know it (yet), where they can "hold it all together" quite fine, and don't usually exhibit behaviors that are overt until or unless their secretive innards stop working like a well-oiled machine. They can go to their grave never knowing they were multiples, and that's all well and good because after all, ignorance can be bliss.
Those of us who have, through inability to function or through happenstance or deep inner delving, found out that we're multiple can have moments we are more aware of our multiplicity than others. I can go days or weeks at a time where it matters little to not-at-all that I am multiple.
Then there are other days, usually days where I get fed up with running on autopilot, days where I want to feel 100% of everything going on in my head, body, heart & soul, that I'm aware of everything going on in my head.
Multiple moments are something else again. One can be in any of these states of being: blissfully ignorant, auto-pilot, fully diversified in all your manic glory, and experience a multiple moment. For me it's usually going back through things I've written, photos I've taken, or artwork I've drawn. The dual knowledge that I created something -- it was my hand, my pen, my pencils, and the absolute conviction that it was not ME, that it was not my will what drove the hand, my inner voice that created the poem or narrative. Moments like these, it's like suddenly looking into a mirror and other people in my head are staring back at "me" (whatever THAT is). This is a multiple moment.
Another multiple moment happens at times when someone asks me a question and 3 voices answer. "What would you like for dinner?" "Pasta. No, peanut butter and jelly. But make it with meatballs." Or "Do you like that song?" "Yeah, it's ok. I don't like the singer. I love it." Well, these are poor examples, but you get the idea. You get these types of answers when I'm distracted usually.
Multiple moments are one of the times that multiplicity is overt, if still subjective. I'll be sure to post one if I "have a multiple moment".
Warning: No Lie Zone
December 06, 2007, at 01:12 PM
I'm not here to bullshit people -- that's the last thing on my mind(s). Speaking of minds (thanks for the great segue into the topic-at-hand) (you're welcome), I wanted to come clean to anyone who stumbles on this blog. I'm a multiple. You know, multiple personality, disorder optional. Like Sybil, but not worth making books and movies about. I don't put on a freak show of any particular popcorn-worthy content. You won't see me playing "See Jane switch" on an afternoon talk show. I lead a relatively mundane life -- when compared with Sybil. But not when compared with most people.
I've always had a talent for *cough* "Pulling myselves together" in public. It's a protection mechanism. I spent several years quite contentedly "out" to everyone I interacted with. Everyone knew I am multiple, and that was a terrific feeling, one I miss every day. In public, not playing the switch-personality-on-parade, I eventually ended up being much less of a curiosity. Just (The) Crisses. I fit in with many other gatherings of misfits, all of whom could say, simply enough, that I am multiple, without my having to go on exhibition. I thank those loving and accepting people with every ounce of [some of our/my] heart.
I've come out in recent times to only a very small handful of people, and I feel like I've rediscovered the dreaded closet. I suppose I have. More so than any other closet-able item in my life, multiplicity is important, a cornerstone fact that entirely changes the paradigm of anyone who interacts with (me/us). All of my other closet-able items are directly attributable to the fact that there are so many people of different types in my head.
It's my goal to continue to update this website and add more and more of my information to it from other sources, to pull it together as a cohesive whole, to slowly expose more & more about myself to the world as I grow older and less concerned about being judged by others. I will pull in information from Kinhost.org that is of a personal nature, so that Kinhost.org can stand as a resource for multiples everywhere and less as a place that people look at me, although being the primary author of the text there I'm sure that information about myselves will always permeate that website.
In any case, this website is not about hiding. I've never found that my life was one where camping in a closet was a great full-time occupation. It's also not a place for lying. It's a place of revelation, speculation perhaps, but not deceit.
Namaste!
Documenting Blog Use
December 06, 2007, at 01:12 PM
So in the interest of documenting how to use the blogging software I'm creating, here's an attempt to document the use of the blog software:
Blog Entries
- Log in (as admin) - as if you were going to edit your website
- Use sidebar "blog" title form to create a new blog entry - a new edit form will open ready to create the blog entry
- Make sure you explicitly title your post using the
(:title:)tag
- Type out the contents of your post, adding any attachment links you'd like to the body of your post
- "Save Draft"
- Upload your attachments, proof your post, re-edit, and "Save Draft" as needed to be happy
- Tag your entry
- Fuss if you want to, you can edit the page, add more tags, add & upload photos or documents (Attach:), etc.
- When you're done click "Publish"
Comment & Pingback Approvals
- Log in (as admin) - as if you were going to edit your website
- See the number of unapproved comments/pingbacks (once working) in the sidebar
- It's a link: if you have any unapproved comments, click the link
- Edit or approve each comment you like (or those you don't like, but still aren't spam)
- To delete a comment click "edit comment" and replace the data field with "delete" just like a webpage on your site, and Publish.
More Blogg'n
December 05, 2007, at 11:12 PM
Made some progress on the bugs in my blog application -- now it should show the correct number for unapproved comments in the sidebar, which is a relief.
Good luck!!
Both design and the blog needs work...
December 04, 2007, at 09:12 PM
Ok, this is my new design, but I haven't fully fleshed out the CSS yet.... and there are some bugs in the blog portion of the website. The number of unapproved comments is incorrect. Annoying....
But at least basic functionality is working. I think :)
Out of Context
December 04, 2007, at 10:12 AM
A little mishap happened while in the office today.
I have to call GoDaddy support. I don't want to spend that time on my cell phone, so I made sure Skype was open by bringing the application front. Then I needed the support phone number, so I started typing to go to the GoDaddy website...and stopped when I realized that I was typing in Skype. Here's the results:
The hazards of typing too fast. Gave me a good case of the giggles (accentuated with incredulity from somewhere in the mental left hemisphere, someone thinks they DO have God's number, apparently....).
Now, off to work again. Had to save this one for posterity :)
Working on PmWiki Blogging
December 02, 2007, at 09:12 PM
Right now I've spent most of the weekend hashing out a complete blogging combo for PmWiki using existing functionality and existing plug-ins for PmWiki. Phew.
It currently uses both items in scripts/ and downloads from the PmWiki Cookbook group for configuring a wiki blog with pingback, notification, backlinks, tag cloud, comments, etc. The idea is to replace a need for Blogger or WordPress as much as possible. I look forward to moving to the new system when I have a chance....both on my personal and business wikis.
So here's a first real post as a test of the system. Not done yet, but certainly getting there.
Good luck!